1. |
Beardless Riker
01:33
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There’s somethin very wrong
There’s somethin out of place
Forgive me if I say so, sir
But it’s somethin bout your face
Your cheeks they are quite naked
Your chin is silky smooth
I’m sorry sir, it’s just not right
I have to tell the truth
You may be fearless and peerless, it’s true
But as long as you’re beardless, sir, I can’t fully respect you
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER OI OI OI
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
HE’S FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
You may send me to sick bay, sir
When I tell you how I feel
Your lack of beard, it freaks me out
The whole world seems unreal
I beg of you, by season two
Please cease your beardless ways
You’ll have a dignified visage
And sex appeal for days
You may be fearless and peerless, it’s true
But as long as you’re beardless, sir, I can’t fully respect you
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER OI OI OI
BEARDLESS RIKER BEARDLESS RIKER
HE’S FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
FEARLESS AND PEERLESS AND BEARDLESS
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2. |
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Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
The Oxford English Dictionary says
An abbreviation is a shortened word or phrase
Intended for ease of writing or speech
So given that fact, can anyone tell me
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
Today I got into an internet argument
This sexist troll tryna mansplain star trek
He says that DS9 beats next generation
But for this fallacy he had no explanation
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine have the same number of syllables
Why do they call it DS9 on Deep Space Nine
When DS9 and Deep Space Nine take just as long to say
They take just as long to say
Just as long to say
Just as long to say
They take just as long to say
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3. |
Fully Functional
02:24
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Are you fully versatile
in the ways of life
Or are you just pretending
to be alive?
Are you fully functional
in the ways of love
Or are you just pretending
to be a man?
A meteor shower is raining
on us
Will we survive?
Touch me with your
android fingers
Make me feel alive
Do you feel existential dread
about existence?
Or are you just functioning
within established parameters
Can you feel my skin
When it’s next to yours
Or do my cells only compute
As sensory input
I’ve never felt something
Quite like this
Fire in my veins
This gas will soon
evaporate
Fuck me, before it’s too late
Hey Data, report to the bridge
We need your beautiful
Android brain for the mission
Data, inebriation’s a human condition, so get with it
Hey Data, we need ya
Fully functional
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4. |
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Sending an away team, huh? How typical
Gosh, I wonder how this is gonna play out
The transporter malfunctioned
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He pissed off a Klingon
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He got some kinda space disease
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He drank too much Romulan ale
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim
God dammit, Jim
The tractor beam broke down
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He tried to shave with a phaser
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He put on a red shirt
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He’s worse than dead, his mind is gone
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
Oh, what’s that? The away team is in trouble?
They require medical attention?
Gosh, knock me over with a fucking mouse fart, why doncha
It’s not like this kinda thing happens around here every god damn week or somethin
God dammit, Jim
The warp drive had a meltdown
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He joined a space hippie cult
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He tripped on a tribble
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
God dammit Jim, I can’t keep up
HE’S DEAD HE’S DEAD
He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
He’s dead (he’s dead) he’s dead (he’s dead)
God dammit, Jim
That motherfucker’s dead
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5. |
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O Star Trek
Star Trek
Star Trek
Star Trek
With Captain Kirk and Mister Spock
And Leonard Bones McCoy
And Uhura and Scotty and Chekov and Sulu
They will trek across the stars and into your heart
O Stark Trek
Star Trek
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6. |
Molecular Fux
01:57
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No, that can’t be the alarm!
My head hit the pillow just a minute ago
Fuck! What’s with my arm?
Amputated, reattached
NO NO NO!
Just let me sleep
Just let me sleep
You creepy fucking clickers
won’t give me relief
Just let me sleep
What did you do to my head?
All I want is bed
Quasi molecular flux?
I don’t really give a fuck
Just let me sleep
Just let me sleep
I don’t really need to be in Starfleet
Just let me sleep
Why you at my door?
I don’t work here no more
Six hundred hours?
I ain’t got the power
Just let me sleep
Just let me sleep
You creepy fucking clickers won’t give me relief
Just let me sleep
But sir, it’s six hundred hours
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Dylan Foley Boston, Massachusetts
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